that's what they said

"Continues to lose and promotes our guys are usually were nul7ified by Teeth into when about 700 users A full-time GNAA"
Anonymous Coward

Stallman Feeds Self Whole Chicken
Richard Stallman stunned a conference on Open Source Software and the Free Software Movement when he took the stage with what appeared to be a whole rotisserie chicken. As shocked attendees watched, he then proceeded to eat the entire chicken with his bare hands pausing only to wipe the grease on his shirt while mumbling "microsoft wants you to use a fork and napkin". Upon completion of his one-man chicken eating demonstration he demonstrated the features of EMACS to an audience that could only be described as disguested.
Anonymous Coward

"using linux is like using windows, except every time you try to do something like install a program or a driver or set a different resolution, a big black dude runs in and kicks you in the side of the head"

"nice response but my doctor told me i have less then 40 years to live so nice try ,thanx anyway."



i love irony

a big oil depot went up in smoke a few days ago. i heard some police guy on the radio telling people not to panic buy fuel. he pointed out that panic buying actually causes shortages.
it had obviously escaped him that warning people not to panic buy actually causes panic buying.




"Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs."

"Binge drinking describes an extended period of time (typically at least two days) during which a time a person repeatedly becomes intoxicated and gives up his or her usual activities and obligations in order to become intoxicated. It is the combination of prolonged use and the giving up of usual activities that forms the core of the clinical definition of binge drinking."
From the Journal of Studies on Alcohol (1998)

"(Presented to the Yahoo! Mail Team by the good people of Yahoo! in recognition of tremendous intellectual efforts put forth in order to defeat Gmail.

Not since the code breakers in Britain's Bletchley Park deciphered Germany's Enigma code during World War II has so much brainpower been focused on kicking an enemy's ass.

The Yahoo! Mail Team's bravery, courage, and cumulative intelligence will not soon be forgotten. )"
"I actually saw this exchange on CSPAN between kenneth Lay and a congressman (not verbatim).

"Did you know you had to report these earning in this way?"
"No I did not"
"Why not? That's just basic accounting"
"I didn't know that's all"
"When you went to school didn't they teach you that?"
"I guess not".
"What did you major in?"
"I have an MBA".
"YOu have an MBA and you didn't know a basic accounting principle? Where did you get you degree from?"
"Harward business school".

Man I fell down laughing. It wasn't a great advertisement for Harvard or capitlaism for that matter."


Consider yourself threated

"In normal debugged programs, there are usually no math subroutine errors--and therefore no assignments to 'errno' and no 'matherr' calls; in that situation the math functions behave reentrantly."
-C math library documentation

"If you pass streams by value, the C++ compiler will not complain. However, mysterious bad things will start happening, often in parts of the code which don't appear to be related to the offending function."
-How to use streams in C++

Sorry, I already gave what help I could...
Maybe you should try asking a human?
An error might have occurred before I noticed any problems.
``If all else fails, read the instructions.''
-latex help message

(That makes 100 errors; please try again.)
-latex error message



nowhere continuous bijection of the unit interval onto itself

if x is rational: f(x) = x
if x is irrational and x < 1/2: f(x) = x + 1/2
if x is irrational and x ≥ 1/2: f(x) = x - 1/2

given any rational number x, there is an irrational number y as close to it as you like with f(y) about 1/2 away from f(x).
similarly, given any irrational number we can find a rational number as close to it as we like, and their images under f will be about 1/2 apart.



democracy: from cradle to grave

An activist, Maya Anne Evans, has been prosecuted for ringing a bell by the Cenotaph (a First World War memorial near Downing Street) while her and another protester read out names of British soldiers and Iraqi civilians killed in the US/UK/'coalition' war against Iraq. She fell foul of section 132 of the 'Serious Organised Crime and Police Act', which bans any demonstration taking place within 1km of Parliament Square without prior police permission.

This fascist piece of legislation was brought in to try and get rid of this guy,, Brian Haw, who has been protesting opposite the Houses of Parliament 24/7 for over four years, initially against the sanctions and bombing of Iraq, since then about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. However, the legislation was worded in a way that meant he didn't need police permission to continue his demo which started before the law came into force.



hah hah hah

Looking ahead in 100 years time, how do you think British art of the early 21st century will be regarded? Who are the great artists who will pass the test of time?

Charles Saatchi: General art books dated 2105 will be as brutal about editing the late 20th century as they are about almost all other centuries. Every artist other than Jackson Pollock, Andy Warhol, Donald Judd and Damien Hirst will be a footnote.

from an interview on the saatchi gallery website.




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